Warning! Highly Flammable Contents!
by ForbiddenDreams13
Summary: Hiei and Kurama are out in the heat by order of Koenma looking for any signs of mischevious fire spirits, when a college kid wearing too much Axe gives Hiei a gruesome idea. OOCness and Crack.


**Hello readers! Yes, I know BioPattern Rose is taking a long time. My muse reel ran out, and until I can spin some more, another one-shot has popped up, demanding to be written.**

**Warnings: OOCness on account of both Kurama and possibly Hiei.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. Fanfiction would not be an option if I did.**

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><p>"Why the hell are we doing this again?"<p>

The question came from an irate fire demon who walked alongside a redheaded fox. Said fox sighed in aggravation. He might not have been so aggravated had Hiei not asked that same question three times already.

"For the last time Hiei; it's an order from Koenma. We can't refuse. Well, you can. I mean, if you'd enjoy spending time locked up in Spirit World Penitentiary, then go ahead."

Hiei glanced up at Kurama. Jeez, what had gotten under his skin? Then again, it was the height of the summer and incredibly hot. Maybe the hot weather made his fuse shorter than normal. Hiei knew he couldn't stand summer, but then again who could? Who in their right mind would love baking like cookies in an oven?

Kurama sighed again. He hated this. He would have much rather been inside, sheltered from the oppressive heat, but when he had received a telepathic message from Hiei, he knew today's plans of escape from the weather had been shattered. Koenma had asked the two of them to keep an eye out for various fire spirits, such as Asobibi, Basan, and Gotokuneko, especially Basan and Gotokuneko. Those two spirits were known to start fires in extreme heat such as this. When Hiei had first heard that Basan would be on their demon-hunt list, he had collapsed in a fit of laughter. Kurama had to admit that he had snickered as well. He thought that the large fire-breathing chicken monster was someone's idea of a bad joke. Even now, the image of a huge chicken unleashing a torrent of flame from its mouth was enough to send the fox into a fit of giggles.

So far, they had been walking up and down the packed streets for an hour, and had found no sign of mischievous fire-spirits in the middle of committing arson. Kurama was beginning to think this mission was just some scam concocted by Koenma to provide the prince of Spirit World with some mild entertainment. The two of them had passed a sushi vendor when Kurama stopped dead in his tracks. The man behind the counter was preparing a salmon roll plate for a college student, but the juicy fish weren't what had caught Kurama's eye. Sitting on the counter top right beside the young man was a black cat carrying a cut shoot of bamboo in its mouth. A Gotokuneko. Luckily, the Gotokuneko seemed more interested in the fish then starting a fire. Kurama looked down at Hiei, who was also watching the Gotokuneko.

"What do you think?" Kurama asked. Although it was clear the cat spirit wasn't going to do any harm at the moment, there was no indication it wouldn't do so once its appetite was sated.

Hiei shrugged. "I say leave it alone. We'll come back here later and see if it's still here."

He turned to walk off, stopped and looked back at Kurama.

"And if we see this place consumed by raging flames, you can say 'I told you so'."

Sounded like a plan. The two of them were about to continue on their way, when the college student down his meal in record time, thanked the vendor again for the meal, and zipped off down the street. He passed by Kurama and Hiei, and it was all both demons could do not to reel from the young man's scent. This guy had obviously bathed himself in Axe body spray. Kurama coughed quietly while Hiei tried not to vomit. When the cloud of suffocating smell had passed, the two took a deep breath of clean air and tried to settle their stomachs.

"Fox, what the hell was that stench?"

"It's a brand of body spray human males use. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind the scent much, but when humans use it, they tend to go overboard."

Hiei snorted. "Do all humans have failed olfactory systems?"

"No, the majority of young men who buy that _want _to be smelled before they're seen."

While Hiei muttered under his breath about the idiocy of humans, Kurama looked about for any other fire-spirits. None. Not counting the Gotokuneko, the area was clean. He spared the ghostly cat one last glance before turning back into the crowd with Hiei in tow. When they were far enough of away from the sushi vendor, Kurama spoke up.

"You know, I'm rather surprised."

"At what?"

"It's just that the fumes of Axe are highly flammable. And with the Gotokuneko sitting so close to that college student, I was sure the Gotokuneko was going to make him go up in flames."

Wrong move on Kurama's part. No sooner had the words left his mouth, the gears in Hiei's head had begun to turn. Highly flammable fumes huh? Fangs poked through the smirk that was slowly etching itself upon Hiei's face. Oh, now this was going to be delightful!

Kurama glanced down at Hiei. What in the world could he be smirking about? Kuwabara was nowhere near here, and there was nothing going on here that would jive with Hiei's dark sense of humor. Before Kurama got a chance to say anything, Hiei was off, and into the crowd, in hot pursuit of the over-scented college student. Nerves on high alert, Kurama ran after him, darting in between any gaps in the mass of humans, desperate to reach Hiei before he reached his target. He had no idea what Hiei was going to do to the man, but when he smirked like that, someone usually died.

Unfortunately, Kurama was not quick enough. A mere twenty feet from Hiei, and he could see that his mad dash to stop the fire demon from committing whatever sinister act he was planning had been fruitless. However, this did not stop him from trying. Let him get cut, let a limb get hacked off, just please, please, _please _don't whatever he was about to do be seen by humans. Hiei was now directly behind the college student. Kurama watched, unable to pour on any speed, as Hiei leaned forward and snapped his fingers. A tiny flame appeared where his middle finger and thumb were joined.

_Oh hell! So _that's _what he's going to do! _Kurama thought. If only he could reach Hiei in time.

No such luck. The flame twirled right off of Hiei's fingertips and into the cloud of fumes where it exploded into one big fire ball.

Kurama stopped. One minute, he was looking at a normal college boy. The next, he found himself staring at a flame-engulfed wraith. Try as he might to prevent it, Kurama's mouth fell open. Unbeknownst to him, Hiei had walked up, and appeared quite pleased with himself.

"Dang, can you feel that? You could roast a marshmallow clear over here."

Kurama's train of thought leapt back onto its tracks, and he preceded to grab Hiei by the collar and pull him in close.

"You just lit a guy on fire, what the hell were you thinking?" Kurama tried to yell as quietly as possible. He didn't have to try very hard, for now the people around them were shouting and pointing to the college kid a few feet away from them. Hiei smiled.

"Oh, just about what you said. You know, the fumes are highly flammable?"

"You idiot, are you crazy?"

"Come now, at least you can say he smells a lot better now."

"I don't think the smells of burning flesh and hair are very pleasant thank you!"

"Calm down, it's not like I've killed him. See? Some good citizens are dowsing the flames."

True. Surrounding the burning boy was a group of six or seven people. A couple were emptying the contents of their water bottles onto his back while the rest were either getting more water or trying to help the boy beat the flames into submission. Annoyed rather than satisfied, Kurama glared down at Hiei.

"That still doesn't explain why you did it."

"Let's just say I was dragged into this against my will, and since I had yet to see a giant fire-breathing chicken, I thought I would find another way to provide myself with some entertainment." Hiei stated matter-of-factly. All Kurama could do was stare, and lament that they hadn't discovered a Basan earlier. Meanwhile, the Gotokuneko had hopped down from the counter of the sushi vendor, belly full of delicious tuna. It huffed in agitation before continuing on its way; but not before looking back to glare at Hiei.

"Jerk. That was my idea."

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><p><strong>Well there you have it! Oh, and on a side note, in case any of you were wondering, Asobibi are spook fires from the Kochi Prefecture. And no, I did not make up the Basan spirit. It actually exists in Japanese folklore. I know, I started laughing too. Anyways, read and review!<strong>


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